The Whoopie Wagon
by Perfect Madness
Summary: The guys inspect a new rig. Well, new to *some* of them, anyway. Wink-wink, nudge-nudge.


THE WHOOPIE WAGON

Chet ran his muscled hands over the bright red exterior of the new fire truck parked in the lot of Station 51.

"This truck isn't as long as Big Red, Mike, but it sure carries a lot of stuff!" he mentioned unnecessarily to the engineer.

Mike, Chet, and Cap all gave low whistles as they inspected the large van, which had been emblazoned with the official LOGO of the Los Angeles County Fire Department, and sported the standard red and white light bars on the top.

"It's a really nice rig, Cap," Johnny said, as he and Marco jumped out of the tall back doors, "we can even stand up inside! Are we keeping it?"

"Yeah," exclaimed Marco, "it has room for extras of everything! Look at the shelves for the gear and there's hooks for the air tanks and turnouts! This is niiiiice!"

"She's on loan for a few days, fellas. We're supposed to see if something like this would work in a smaller station like ours. 'Course, we'd need more guys to man the truck, plus a place to park her, but it sure would be handy to have closer so we wouldn't always have to call another station for back up when we needed more supplies. The department is sending a coupla' men to run with it until the end of the month. We're supposed to log how often we needed it. Maybe someday we'll get our own."

Cap and Mike slid open the heavy steel doors on the driver's and passenger's sides, and climbed up on the tall seats. The smooth, burgundy leather chairs were fastened to steel posts so the firefighters could sit up high in the van and see clearly through the huge front windshield. The dashboard had buttons and switches of all sorts, things to turn on the lights and sirens, naturally, but also to activate two enormous flood lights that were mounted to each side of the van, and operate the mic system that could broadcast a human voice for miles.

"Check this out!" Chet hollered, "There's a place here on the side for another pike pole, a fan, an axe, two shovels, and three coils of inch-and-a-halves!"

Roy popped open a door on the exterior of the van and found room for a backboard, a stokes, and additional climbing ropes and equipment. To his surprise, the van had compartments for duplicates of pretty much everything the squad carried and then some.

Mike ran a hand through his hair in amazement at the new features this truck offered; he'd not seen anything quite like it before. He was impressed.

"You ever see something like this before, Cap?" Mike asked.

"Mike, I actually have, but it's been a couple years. This one is much nicer than the early one we had at my first station, though. Hey...I wonder..." he muttered, as he started reading the tiny print on the buttons and switches.

"Wonder what, Cap?" Mike inquired.

"Well, technically, this rig is called a Heavy Rescue Van, ya' know, because it carries extra gear and tools that a crew might need but not be able to take along to every rescue. When I started, we didn't have equipment like a K-12 or a Jaws, but when they came out, we needed a truck to carry it all, so this thing was introduced." He continued squinting at the switches until he found the one labeled, "main siren".

"Aha! Here it is!" He smiled at his engineer and said, "listen to this!"

He flipped the switch without warning the rest of his crew and the siren blared out an ear-splitting "Whoop-eee! Whoop-eee! Whoop-eee!" very different from the familiar sirens of the squad and Big Red.

"What the devil is that?!" shouted Gage, running with his hands over his ears to the open driver's door. "Cap! Is it supposed to make that noise?"

Cap laughed and flipped the switch to turn off the obnoxious, offending siren.

"Yep," he chuckled. "See, when you're in the thick of a bad rescue, and you need more equipment, this siren stands out from the others, so you know it's on its way." He snorted a short laugh, "We used to call it the "Whoopie Wagon".

Marco snickered, "Whoopie Wagon, eh? That's pretty funny, Cap. Guess the siren does kind of sound like it's saying "Whoopie"

At that moment, Chet noticed his Captain smiling and blushing a deep crimson. "Caaaap? What aren't you telling us?" he inquired with a bushy, raised eyebrow.

Cap cleared his throat a little, but the smirk wasn't leaving. "Oh, ah, well, yeah, it's because the siren sounds like that..." he trailed off.

"Caaap?" Chet asked again. "You're hiding something."

"Yeah, c'mon Cap, spill it, " Johnny added. "Why is it really called the 'Whoopie Wagon, huh?"

Roy toed his shoe on the concrete and looked down at it as a faint smile of recognition came across his face.

"Well, ah, you know, there's lots of room back there," Cap said, jerking a thumb back toward the rear of the van. "Two people could be back there together easily, you know..."

Before he could finish, Marco and Mike figured out where the conversation was headed and started snickering.

"Cap! You devil!" Marco chuckled.

Mike burst out laughing while Chet and John looked at each other, then back at Cap.

"Really, Cap?" Johnny asked with stunned awareness. "You?"

Cap, feigning offense, said, "Yeah, me. What? You think I'm too old and stodgy for a little fun with my wife?"

"No, no, no, I don't, not at all," John blurted with a wave of his hand, "It just, well, ya' know, I never thought, well, what I meant was..."

"Gage, stop while you're behind," Marco offered.

"So, Cap, was this when you were at 36?" Chet inquired.

"No, I was at 42 when this rig was introduced. 1969."

"Wait," Johnny said, doing a few mental gymnastics, "when was your boy Ernie born?"

"1970," Cap admitted with a smile.

"Aw, Caaaap!" the crew burst out in unison, then dissolved in laughter.

"Whoopie Wagon, indeed!" Gage howled.


End file.
